PROCEED THE SECOND MILE! AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!!

Wish That I Could Move On
Can't Let Go, It's Too Strong
Just Like That And Then You're Gone
Is This How You Wanted It To Be
Everything You Had To Say
Sent The Tears Right Down My Face
Now I'm Trying To Escape
The Misery

Why Don't You Love Me
The Way I Loved You
It Feels So Crazy
Cause I Dont know What I Did To You
If You're Gonna Hurt Me
Then Do It Quickly
Cause I'm Tired Of Cryin
If You Don't Wanna Stick Around
Then, Baby, Forget About Me

when i woke up this morning, it was raining hard! i begin to cry inside.. no tears came out from my eyes.. it was deep, i just can't cry on the outside anymore.. memories came crashing down like it was just yesterday.. it's like God brought me back to the past for some certain purpose.. for every drop of water i hear outside my window, for me it was like tears rapidly pouring out inside me.. what's holding me back somehow? is it love? do i still love him.. a question i can't answer confidently with a "yes" or a "no".. i don't find him deserving for the love and sacrifices but somehow, i do.. a friend told me that she is having a hard time because her boyfriend is here in the philippines and she's at ths states.. so far but yet they still manage to work things.. i told her, your luckier because you guys can work it out somehow not like us, so close.. yet so far! even friends, we cannot grant to ourselves.. is it ironic? yeah, life is ironic..

is it really so hard to move on? damn it! i take one step away and i find myself coming back to you! ang hirap! i believe that everything happens for a certain reason! the problem is, i just can't find the reason for it.. it's harder everyday, everyday you strive to endure each moment and one strike.. all your efforts are wasted! am i really fooling myself in what am i now? can i really say that i'm really happy? am i? am i deceived by my own mask? are my smiles real? what holds me back so much!!!! i don't wanna take the blame anymore! why do i like to hurt so much! is this what i get, when i let my heart win?

today is june 15, 2008 and it's been 1 year since brian and i broke up last year (june 15,2007).. i never thought time would fly so fast knowing back then that i think i can never move on.. he is my greatest love and now my very good friend.. who'd have thought that we will be good friends again.. who'd have thought that i can move on.. that was the darkest part of my life cause a month after my gradma passed away.. so it's been a year and i feel so much better now.. honestly i don't wanna go back to to those times when i feel the world is on my shoulders, i couldn't stop crying.. but i am thankful for that experience because now i know and i can handle my problems with strength though i'm still fragile and emotionally weak.. i know i'll mature sooner or later..

the one who calls me baby/moimoi.. i will never forget..

here i go again.. i start writing my drama's again.. im back to blogging.. first things first! if you'll only view my blog and talk trash about me then get the hell out of here! well i cant control the people going in and out of here.. for my friends who wanna know what's happening to me recently then this is the place to be.. no secrets, no pretending! so for the people who's affected.. don't dare come in here.. clear? alright then.. :)